- Член од
- 15 април 2019
- Мислења
- 234
- Поени од реакции
- 812
The curse of knowledge and traits of agreeableness is that people come to you, expecting you to do their work for them...
And when you offer to teach them how to fish instead of getting the fish for them, they get upset; and this is why, even as an extroverted being, I choose orient my life to closely resemble that of a Hermit; and this is why, while everyone was eager for quarantine to end, I thrived in it and prayed it last an eternity; for I thrived like a flower which blooms in the circumstances which seem most adverse to others - alone, delving into the darkness, unbothered by anyone, and most importantly, left to indulge in the Magnum Opus without the disturbance of mundane events...
Sometimes, I resent myself for being so helpful, because as much it seems as an attempt to show the light to others - it seems as if it is also an attempt to be seen, heard, appreciated and understood by others; though, automatically an unsuccessful one, since my true intrinsic value is hidden under the mask of being a "helpful person", something about which I do not care about being - yet something that many of my peers will ingrain into the 2D image they have of me, not knowing that it is but a plea to be accepted, not for what I do or what I know, but for every single emotion that ran, runs and ever will run through my body, for every single state of being that I ever was in, am, and ever will be...
Though I know that it is not wise to expect this from a collective in which the the propagation of sickness is a normality and, sickness itself - a commodity, even a bliss, I still send what I know out there, no matter how many cognitive structures and emotional patterns will end up shattered in pieces. I only fear that my all too human warmth and strive for harmony will restrain me from creating the chaos and shattering the far too much and too many structures that are in desperate need of it....
And when you offer to teach them how to fish instead of getting the fish for them, they get upset; and this is why, even as an extroverted being, I choose orient my life to closely resemble that of a Hermit; and this is why, while everyone was eager for quarantine to end, I thrived in it and prayed it last an eternity; for I thrived like a flower which blooms in the circumstances which seem most adverse to others - alone, delving into the darkness, unbothered by anyone, and most importantly, left to indulge in the Magnum Opus without the disturbance of mundane events...
Sometimes, I resent myself for being so helpful, because as much it seems as an attempt to show the light to others - it seems as if it is also an attempt to be seen, heard, appreciated and understood by others; though, automatically an unsuccessful one, since my true intrinsic value is hidden under the mask of being a "helpful person", something about which I do not care about being - yet something that many of my peers will ingrain into the 2D image they have of me, not knowing that it is but a plea to be accepted, not for what I do or what I know, but for every single emotion that ran, runs and ever will run through my body, for every single state of being that I ever was in, am, and ever will be...
Though I know that it is not wise to expect this from a collective in which the the propagation of sickness is a normality and, sickness itself - a commodity, even a bliss, I still send what I know out there, no matter how many cognitive structures and emotional patterns will end up shattered in pieces. I only fear that my all too human warmth and strive for harmony will restrain me from creating the chaos and shattering the far too much and too many structures that are in desperate need of it....
и толку.
Моника Белучи.
