EXCLUSIVE: The Key To Cesc Fabregas' Future Revealed
by Joseph Millard Member
Christof Koepsel/Getty Images
Good morning. Today's entry will tackle an issue that we've all been trying to avoid, the obvious and most major factor in the most pressing Arsenal news matter of the moment. Some may criticise me for bringing it up, may feel that bringing it to the light could swing things against Arsenal in this most sensitive of situations. However I feel it must be brought up and examined to the full, we cannot be afraid of the consequences anymore and we must face facts if we are to come away from this saga with Barcelona over Cesc Fabregas with the outcome we desire.
In the last several weeks the situation has been looked at and analysed from every possible perspective except the one that matters. Both Barcelona and Arsenal have refrained from passing comment, neither wanting to be the first to bring it up for fear of tipping the balance of power in this transfer saga against them. The fans and even the journalists have followed suit (although James Corden has used his terrible television show to launch a "Back the Beard" campaign, claiming it to be in support of England's bid to host the World Cup, but I know his real agenda, oh yes) , everyone holding their breath and wondering who would dare raise the issue first. So whilst everyone else busies themselves with trivialities such as Cesc's prospects of first team football at Barcelona, or his vital contribution to Arsenal, I am preparing to open the proverbial Pandora's Box.
I do so in the hope that it will lead to an outcome that Arsenal will view as a victory, a victory born of facing facts and dealing with them honestly. It is a gamble, I won't lie to you. Never before have I been in the position of addressing such a crucial matter before anyone else, and there is a chance I'll get it horribly wrong. Just know that what I do now, I do for Arsenal. The fact is that the most crucial aspect of this transfer deal is there for all to see, all over Cesc's face if you will. It's been there for a while now and we've said nothing, we've hoped it would go away of it's own accord but it would seem that's just not going to happen, and we would regret it forever if we allowed Cesc to move to Barcelona without addressing it. So now, it is finally time to address the matter of Cesc Fabregas' Beard.
I first remember being conscious of the Beard's emergence way back in March, during Arsenal's 2-0 win over West Ham. It may have been evident even before that but like everyone else, I didn't want to see it. Since then it has continued unchecked, everyone has hoped it would simply disappear but it hasn't happened and now it has become the most important factor in the saga of Cesc's proposed transfer to Barcelona. Make no mistake, we are in this situation because of our own inaction, not because of the disgraceful tapping up of Cesc by Barcelona, as they are simply a moth drawn to the flame. We didn't want to face the issue of the Beard during the season and now we dare not for fear of mortally offending Cesc, and tipping the scales irreversibly in Barcelona's favour. Well, I dare because I have seen the consequences of our failure to face up to this threat, as has every Manchester United fan on the planet. If you fail to address the issue of the Beard, then this ladies and gentlemen, is the result.
The magnitude of the issue cannot be overstated, we must act, somebody must be bold and tell Cesc to have a shave. I'll even buy the Mach 3 to perform the crucial task. The Beard is what has brought us to this pass, destroy it, and our problems go away, but we must be bold.
But I fear that there may be nobody capable of such a grand task, in which case there is one more throw of the dice. We must contact Aston Villa and ask them how they got away without addressing the question of Olof Mellberg's beard for so many years.
o there we have it. Pandora's box is open, we know what must be done. We must be rid of the Beard of Cesc Fabregas, and through that shave we will be delivered salvation.
In other news, as if other news could be of any significance on this day, Arsene Wenger has said that we will sign a new defender soon. He refuses to name Laurent Koscielny specifically but even the article on Arsenal.com brings up his name so I'd be very surprised if we didn't hear anything on that front in the near future.
And also on the centre-half front, the boss has further news for us on the future of Sol Campbell, and the news is that there's no further news. I do wish they'd hurry up and sort that one out. If Sol is leaving then surely the club needs to add another centre-half to the shopping list in addition to the one we're already after and if he's staying then I'd like to be reading about some good news like that for once.
That appears to be all, I'm off to have a shave. Back the Beard my arse, see you tomorrow.
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