Don't you FYROM me
Си знаеш дека си МАКЕДНОЕЦ/КА кога:
You know you are Macedonian when:
1.Your grandfather always has a shot of 'rakija' for
breakfast;
2.Even if you are a girl, your parents (who can't
remember your name) call you 'sine';
3.Your uncle makes his own wine that's stronger than
'rakija';
4.Your mother insists that 'promaja' will kill you;
5.Your mother insists you must eat something with
'sirenje' at least three times a week;
6.You use 'rakija' to cure all illnesses, celebrate
all occasions and as a massage or shaving lotion;
7.You celebrate Christmas, Easter and New Year two
weeks after everyone else;
8.Your 'baba' will not accept the fact that you are
not hungry;
9.You go to a restaurant and bring your own drinks;
10.You go to you're 'baba's' house, she offers you
'supa', 'sarma', 'piperki' or 'kolbasi' and gets upset
when you don't eat EVERYTHING;
11.When you have four pairs of 'vlecki' in your
wardrobe;
12.All other action stops when you hear the music of
'Ogan da go gori' or 'Biser balkanski';
13.When your mum calls you 'stoka';
14.Where's a slab of fat in your fridge called
'SLANINA';
15.Your parents still prefer to buy tapes rather than
CDs;
16.Your mum has a whole pharmacy in her medicine
cabinet;
17.Your parents think everything is a conspiracy;
18.You definitely know you are a 'Macho' when you mix
'Kisela voda' with 'Smederevka' at a local 'birtija';
19.You have at least a whole 'tendzere' left over
with food after the whole family has eaten;
20.Everyone asks you how much money you made on your
wedding night;
21.Your wife has to make you food everyday and if she
doesn't she is not a 'domakinka';
22.Your parents invite 500 people over to your house
because it is your 'slava';
23.Your parents can eat 'luti piperki' like chocolate
and not break out on a sweat;
24.The house has to be vacuumed at least ten times a
week;
25.After a late night out with your mates on a Friday
night, your mum comes into your room at 8.00 in the
morning and vacuums your room and tells you to get up
because it's almost lunch time;
26.Your fridge always has more beer than food, just
in case ,gosti' came over;
27.You always bargain at the market and try to get
discounts;
28.Your friends call you 'peer!'
--
Don't you FYROM me!
Call me by my name!
Say MACEDONIA!"