Don't you FYROM me
Си знаеш дека си МАКЕДНОЕЦ/КА кога:
You know you are Macedonian when: 
1.Your grandfather always has a shot of 'rakija' for 
breakfast; 
2.Even if you are a girl, your parents (who can't 
remember your name) call you 'sine'; 
3.Your uncle makes his own wine that's stronger than 
'rakija'; 
4.Your mother insists that 'promaja' will kill you; 
5.Your mother insists you must eat something with 
'sirenje' at least three times a week; 
6.You use 'rakija' to cure all illnesses, celebrate 
all occasions and as a massage or shaving lotion; 
7.You celebrate Christmas, Easter and New Year two 
weeks after everyone else; 
8.Your 'baba' will not accept the fact that you are 
not hungry; 
9.You go to a restaurant and bring your own drinks; 
10.You go to you're 'baba's' house, she offers you 
'supa', 'sarma', 'piperki' or 'kolbasi' and gets upset 
when you don't eat EVERYTHING; 
11.When you have four pairs of 'vlecki' in your 
wardrobe; 
12.All other action stops when you hear the music of 
'Ogan da go gori' or 'Biser balkanski'; 
13.When your mum calls you 'stoka'; 
14.Where's a slab of fat in your fridge called 
'SLANINA'; 
15.Your parents still prefer to buy tapes rather than 
CDs; 
16.Your mum has a whole pharmacy in her medicine 
cabinet; 
17.Your parents think everything is a conspiracy; 
18.You definitely know you are a 'Macho' when you mix 
'Kisela voda' with 'Smederevka' at a local 'birtija'; 
19.You have at least a whole 'tendzere' left over 
with food after the whole family has eaten; 
20.Everyone asks you how much money you made on your 
wedding night; 
21.Your wife has to make you food everyday and if she 
doesn't she is not a 'domakinka'; 
22.Your parents invite 500 people over to your house 
because it is your 'slava'; 
23.Your parents can eat 'luti piperki' like chocolate 
and not break out on a sweat; 
24.The house has to be vacuumed at least ten times a 
week; 
25.After a late night out with your mates on a Friday 
night, your mum comes into your room at 8.00 in the 
morning and vacuums your room and tells you to get up 
because it's almost lunch time; 
26.Your fridge always has more beer than food, just 
in case ,gosti' came over; 
27.You always bargain at the market and try to get 
discounts; 
28.Your friends call you 'peer!' 
--  
Don't you FYROM me! 
Call me by my name! 
Say MACEDONIA!"