Знам дека е многу, но ако сакаш да си помогнеш себеси прочитај го цело
In meditation you are not to repress any thought. But it is difficult because your whole
mind consists of judgments, theories, `isms,' doctrines, beliefs. So one who is very deeply
obsessed with any idea, a philosophy or a religion, cannot really enter into meditation. It
is difficult because his obsession will become the barrier. So if you are a Christian or a
Hindu or a Jain, it will be difficult for you to enter meditation because your philosophy
gives you judgements. -- This is good and that is not good, this has to be repressed, this is
not to be allowed.
All philosophies are repressive and all religions, all ideologies, are repressive, because
they give you interpretations. They do not allow you to see life as it is. They force
interpretations on it.
One who wants to go deep into meditation has to be aware of this nonsense of ideology.
Just be a simple man without any philosophy, with no attitude toward life. Just be a
seeker -- one who is in an inquiry, in a deep inquiry to know what life is. Do not force
any ideology over and above it.
Then it will be very easy to move into meditation.
Because of this, the greatest meditator the world has ever known, Gautam Buddha,
insisted that no ideology is needed, no philosophy is needed, no concepts about life are
needed. Whether God is or is not is meaningless, irrelevant. Whether MOKSHA,
liberation, exists or not is meaningless. Whether your soul is immortal or not is
meaningless.
Buddha was so much anti-philosophy not because HE was anti-philosophy, but because
anti-philosophy can become the basic ground for a meditator to jump into the unknown.
Philosophy means knowing something about the unknown without knowing it. It is just
preconceptions, hypotheses, man-constructed ideologies.
This is to be remembered as a very foundational fact: do not judge, let the mind flow
easily. As the river flows, let the mind flow easily; just sit on the bank watching. And this
watching should be pure -- without any interpretations. Sooner or later, when the water
has flown, when the repressed ideas have moved, you will find gaps coming. A thought
will go, and another thought will not be coming, and there will be a gap -- an interval. In
that interval, nothingness happens. In that interval you will have the first glimpse of your
real face, of the original face.
When there is no thought there is no society. When there is no thought there is no other.
When there is no other, no society, you need not have any face.
Thoughtlessness is facelessness. In that interval, when one thought has gone and another
has not appeared, in that interval, for the first time you will know in reality what is your
face -- the face you had when you were not born and the face you will have when you
die.
All the faces in life are false. And once you know the real face, once you feel this inner
nature which Buddhists call BUDDHA SWABHAVA -- the nature of the inner buddha --
when you come to feel this inner nature even once, even with a single glimpse, you will
be a different person, because now you will constantly know what is false and what is
real. Then you will have the criterion. Then you can compare, and there will be no need
to ask what is real and what is unreal. The question comes only because you do not know
what is real, and whatsoever you know is all unreal.
Only through meditation will you be able to learn what is a false image and what is a
real, authentic face. Of course, the mind is automatic, and whatsoever you have done has
become mechanical. It is hard to break this mechanicalness.
The first thing to be understood: mechanicalness is a necessity of life -- and your body
has an inner mechanism. Colin Wilson has called it the inner robot, you have a robot
within you. Once trained, once you are trained in anything, that training is passed to the
robot. You can call it memory, you can call it mind, -- anything -- but the word robot is
good because it is absolutely mechanical, automatic.
It functions in its own way.
You are learning to drive. While you are learning, you will have to be aware, alert. A
danger is there. You do not know how to drive and anything can happen, so you will have
to be alert. That is why learning is so painful, one has to be alert constantly. When you
have learned driving, the driving has been given to the robot part of your mind. Now you
can go on smoking, singing, listening to the radio or talking to a friend, or even loving
your girlfriend. You can go on doing anything and the robot part of your being will drive.
You will not be needed; you are relieved of the burden. The robot will do everything.
You will not even have to remember where to turn; you need not. The robot will know
where to turn, where to stop, where not to stop, what to do and what not to do. You are
not needed; you are relieved of the job. The robot does everything.
If something very sudden happens, some accident or something that the robot cannot
tackle because it is not trained in it, only then will you be needed. Suddenly there will be
a jerk in your body. The robot will be replaced and you will come in its place. You can
feel that jerk. When suddenly you feel that an accident is going to happen, there is a jerk
inside. The robot moves away; it gives place to you. Now YOU are driving. But when the
accident is avoided, again the robot will take over.
You will relax and the robot will drive.
And this is necessary for life because there are so many things to do -- so many things!
And if there is no robot to do them, you will not be capable of doing them at all. So a
robot is needed, it is a necessity.
I am not against the robot. Go and give unto the robot whatsoever you learn, but remain
the master. Do not allow the robot to become the master. This is the problem: the robot
will try to be the master, because the robot is more efficient than you. Sooner or later the
robot will say to you, "Be completely retired. You are not needed. I can do things more
efficiently."
Remain the master. What can be done in order for you to remain the master of the robot?
Only one thing is possible, and that is: sometimes, without any danger, take the reins into
your hands. Tell the robot to relax, come into the seat, and drive the car -- without any
danger, because in danger it is again automatic, the jerk, the replacement of the robot by
you is automatic.
You are driving: suddenly, without any necessity, tell the robot to relax. You come into
the seat and drive the car. You are walking: suddenly remember and tell the body that
"Now I will walk consciously. The robot is not allowed. I am the master and I will move
the body consciously." You are hearing me: it is the robot part which is hearing me.
Suddenly give a jerk to it; do not allow the mind to come in.
Hear me directly, consciously.
What do I mean when I say hear consciously? When you are hearing unconsciously, you
are just focused on me and you have forgotten yourself completely. I exist, the speaker
exists, but the listener is unconscious. You are not aware of yourself as the listener. When
I say take the reins in your hands, I mean be aware of the two points: the speaker and the
listener. And if you are aware of the two points, the speaker and the listener, you have
become the third -- the witness.
This witnessing will help you to remain the master. And if you are the master, your robot
cannot disturb your life. It IS disturbing your life. Your total life has become a mess
because of this robot. It helps, it is efficient, but it goes on taking everything from you --
even those things which should not be given to it.
You have fallen in love: it is beautiful in the beginning because it has not been given to
the robot yet. You are learning. You are alive, aware, alert, and love has a beauty. But
sooner or later the robot will take it over. You will become a husband or a wife, and you
will have given the charge to the robot.
Then you will say to your wife, "I love you," but YOU will not be saying it. The robot
will be saying it, the gramophone record. Then it is a recorded thing. You just play it
again and again, and your wife will understand it -- because whenever your robot says, "I
love you," it means nothing.
And when your wife says, "I love you," you too will know it is nothing, because a
sentence given by a gramophone record only creates noise. It makes no sense; there is no
sense in it.
Then you will want to do everything, yet YOU are not doing it. Then love becomes a
burden and one even wants to escape from love. All your feelings, all your relationships
are now directed by the robot. That is why sometimes you insist on not doing a certain
thing, but the robot insists that you do it because the robot is trained to do it. And you are
always a failure and the robot always succeeds.
You say, "I am not going to be angry again," but your saying it is meaningless because
the robot is trained. And the training has been long, so just a sentence in the mind that "I
am not going to be angry again," will not have any effect. This robot has been long
trained. So next time when someone insults you, your decision not to be angry will be of
no help. The robot will take charge immediately and the robot will do whatsoever it is
trained to do. And then in the end, when the robot has done it, you will repent.
But the difficulty, the deep difficulty is this, that even this repentance is done by the
robot, because you have always done that -- after the anger you have repented. The robot
has learned that trick also; it will repent, and again you will do the same thing.
That is why many times you feel that you have done something, said something, behaved
in a certain way, in spite of yourself.
What does this expression, `in spite of yourself,' mean? It means that there is another self
within you which can act, which can do something in spite of you. Who is that self? The
robot!
What to do? Do not take vows that "I will not be angry again." They are self-defeating;
they will not lead you anywhere. Rather, on the contrary, whatsoever you are doing, do it
consciously. Take charge from the robot -- with any ordinary thing. When eating, eat
consciously. Do not do it mechanically, as you have done every day. When smoking,
smoke consciously. Do not allow your hand to move to the packet unconsciously, do not
bring the cigarette out unconsciously. Be conscious, alert -- and there is a difference.
I can raise my hand mechanically, just without any awareness; I can raise my hand with
full awareness flowing in my hand. Try it! You will feel the difference. When you are
aware, your hand will be raised very slowly, very silently, and you will feel that the hand
is filled with the awareness. And when the hand is filled with the awareness, your mind
will be thoughtless, because your whole awareness will have moved to the hand. Now no
energy is left to think.
When you raise your hand automatically, mechanically, you go on thinking and your
hand goes on moving. Who is moving that hand? Your robot. Move it yourself! Do it in
the day at any time, any moment, while doing anything.
Take charge from the robot. Soon you will be able to have a mastery over the robot. But
do not try it with difficult situations -- that is suicidal. We always try with difficult
situations, but because of the difficulty you never win. Start with simple situations, where
even if you are not so efficient no harm is going to result.
We always try with difficult situations. For example, one man thinks, "I am not going to
be angry." Anger is a very difficult situation and the robot will not leave it to you. And it
is better that the robot should do it because he knows more than you. You decide about
sex -- not to do something or to do something -- but you cannot follow it through. The
robot will take over. The situation is very complex, and more efficient handling is needed
than you can give it right now.
Unless you become so perfectly aware that you can tackle any complex situation without
the help of the robot, the robot will not allow you to do it. And this is a very necessary
defense mechanism. If it were otherwise, you would make a great mess of your life -- if
you were to go on taking things away from the robot in difficult situations.
Try! Start with simple things such as walking. Try with this; there is no harm. You can
say to the robot that "There is not going to be any harm. I am just walking, taking a walk,
and I am not going anywhere -- just walking.
So there is no need of you; I can be non-efficient."
And then be aware and walk slowly. Be filled with awareness throughout your whole
body. When one foot moves, move with it. When one foot leaves the ground, leave the
ground with it. When the other foot touches the ground, touch the ground with it. Be
perfectly aware. Do not do anything else with the mind; just turn the whole mind into
awareness.
It will be difficult because the robot will interfere continuously. Every moment the robot
will try and will say, "What are you doing? I can do it better than you." And he CAN do
it better. So try it with non-serious things, with non-complex things, simple things.
Buddha has told his disciples to walk, eat and sleep with awareness. If you can do these
simple things, then you will also know how to enter into difficult things with awareness.
Then you can try.
But we always try with difficult things; then we are defeated. Then the defeated feeling
gives you a deep pessimism about yourself. You start thinking that you cannot do
anything. That is very helpful for the robot. The robot will always help you to do
something when you are in difficulty because then you are defeated. Then the robot can
say to you, "Leave it to me. I can always do it better than you can do it."
Start with simple things. Zen Buddhists, Zen monks, have been so many times reported to
have been doing this.
When Bosho was asked, "What is your meditation? What is your SADHANA, spiritual
practice?" he said, "When I feel hungry I eat and when I feel sleepy I go to sleep. This is
all."
The man who was asking said, "But this we all do. What is special about it?" Bosho
repeated it again. He said, "When I am hungry 'I' eat and when I feel sleepy 'I' sleep."
And that is the difference. When you feel hungry your robot eats, when you feel sleepy
your robot sleeps. Bosho said "I", and that is the difference.
If you become more aware in your day-to-day work, in your ordinary life, the awareness
will grow. And with that awareness you will not be just a mechanical thing. For the first
time you become a person -- now you are not one. And a person has a face and a
mechanical thing has many masks -- no face.
If you are a person -- alive, alert, aware -- you can have an authentic existence. If you are
just a mechanical device, you cannot have any authentic existence. Each moment will
change you; each situation will change you. You will be just a floating thing with no
inner core, with no inner being. Awareness gives you the inner presence. Without it you
feel that you are, but you are not.
Someone asked Buddha, "I want to serve humanity. Tell me how I can serve." Buddha
looked at the man very deeply, penetratingly, with deep compassion, and then he said,
"But where are YOU? WHO will serve humanity? You are not yet.
First be, and when you are, you need not ask me. When you are, you will do something
which just happens to you which is worth doing."
Gurdjieff noted that everyone comes with the notion that he is, that he already is.
Someone came to Gurdjieff and asked, "I am very insane inside. My mind goes on in
conflicts, in contradictions, so tell me what I can do to dissolve this mind, to have mental
peace, inner calm." Gurdjieff said, "Do not think about the mind, you cannot do anything
about it. The first thing is to be present. First YOU have to be; then you can do
something. YOU are not."
What is meant by this "You are not?" It means that you are a robot, a mechanical thing,
working according to mechanical laws. Start being alert. Join awareness with anything
you are doing -- and start with simple things.