Fu*k My Life

  • Креатор на темата Креатор на темата P.Griffin
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Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... My electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

:pos2::pos2::pos2::pos2::pos2::nesum:
 
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it: I farted right into her nose. FML

comments:
"thats why do it with her on top"

:pos2::pos2::pos2::pos2:
 
Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. After 10 minutes, when we change the position he shouted: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

хахаха закон :vozbud::pos2:
 
Ѕверско ...:vozbud::vozbud:

-Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

:pos::pos:
 
Ristetooo напиша:
-Today, I was talked into having sex with my boyfriend of 4 years. I had always wanted to wait till marriage but my boyfriend convinced me otherwise. Once we were done, he said he could never marry me because I was no longer pure. FML
Кликни за повеќе...
Поштуеем!!!!!:cuc:
Брао за типацот,и го стаил,до даске
со се јајца:pos:
 
-Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... My electric toothbrush in her hand. FML



Нај јако...
 
-Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

аииии :смајл:...Сепак повеќе е за жалење случајот.
 
haahhaahhaahah:pos2::pos2::pos2::pos2::pos2:smehovi presmejuvanje alal da vi ex.x.xxxxxxxx:pos2::pos2:ahahha:back:
 
Mrs. Vedder напиша:
-Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

аииии :смајл:...Сепак повеќе е за жалење случајот.
Кликни за повеќе...

:pos2::pos2::pos2::pos2:Сестра му аааи ... неам коментар :toe:
 
Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML


Today, I’ve learnt that the girl I love thinks I’m gay. To be honest, I’m having doubts too. FML


Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML


Today we are celebrating our 1 year anniversary. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress, slinky underwear, and waited for him on the sofa. He gets home from work and asks me with a quizzical look: "You going out tonight?" FML


Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML


Today, and for the third time, a tender and loving man that I've just met tries to convince me to have buttsex. What's wrong with them all?! FML


Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML


Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML


Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML


Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML


Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML






 
Моите фаворити:

Today, one of the psych patients I work with on a locked unit looked into my eyes and told me lovingly that I reminded him of his sister. The sister he killed after he raped her. FML




Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML


Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
 
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