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Jesse Pinkman
“Some straight like you, giant stick up his ass, age what, 60? He’s just gonna break bad?”
Season 1, Episode 1: “Pilot”
“Like I came to you, begging to cook meth. ‘Oh, hey, nerdiest old dude I know, you wanna come cook crystal?’ Please. I’d ask my diaper-wearing granny, but her wheelchair wouldn’t fit in the RV.”
Season 1, Episode 2: “Cat’s in the Bag…”
“Oh well, heil Hitler, bitch. And let me tell you something else. We flipped a coin, okay? You and me. You and me! Coin flip is sacred! Your job is waiting for you in that basement, as per the coin!”
Season 1, Episode 3: “…And the Bag’s in the River”
“This place is falling apart, yo. The tub fell through the ceiling and gave me this black eye. Shit’s bananas.”
Season 1, Episode 4: “Cancer Man”
“I got two dudes that turned into raspberry slushie then flushed down my toilet. I can’t even take a proper dump in there. I mean, the whole damn house has got to be haunted by now.”
Season 1, Episode 7: “A No-Rough-Stuff-Type Deal”
“Without even talking to me, you told this insane-ass clown, dead-eyed killer, that we’d give him two pounds a week. No don’t talk to me about hours, what about sudo man? How are we gonna get that? You think the meth fairy is just gonna bring it to us?”
Season 1, Episode 7: “A No-Rough-Stuff-Type Deal”
“Yeah Mr. White! You really do have a plan! Yeah science!”
Season 1, Episode 7: “A No-Rough-Stuff-Type Deal”
“We do things my way this time. Or I walk. You need me more than I need you… Walt“
Season 2, Episode 6: “Peekaboo”
“Spooge? Not Mad Dog? Not Diesel? So let me get this straight, you got jacked by a guy named Spooge?”
Season 2, Episode 6: “Peekaboo”
“You don’t need a criminal lawyer. You need a criminal lawyer.”
Season 2, Episode 8: “Better Call Saul”
“We got an entire lab right here, alright. How about you take some of these chemicals and mix up some rocket fuel that way you can send up a signal flare, or you make some kind of robot to get us out, or a homing device, or build a new battery. Why don’t we just take some stuff off the RV and build something completely different, like a dune buggy, that way we can just dune-buggy our… what, what is it?”
Season 2, Episode 9: “4 Days Out”
“Right on. New Zealand. That’s where they made Lord of the Rings. I say we just move there, yo. I mean, you can do your art, right? Like, you can paint the local castles and shit. And I can be a bush pilot.”
Season 2, Episode 12: “Phoenix”
“Jesse: You either run from things, or you face them, Mr. White.
Walt: And what exactly does that mean?
Jesse: I learned it in rehab. It’s all about accepting who you really are. I accept who I am.
Walt: And who are you?
Jesse: I’m the bad guy.”
Season 3, Episode 1: “No Mas”
“Hey, you girls want to meet my fat stack?”
Season 3, Episode 5: “Mas”
“This is my own private domicile, and I will not be harassed… Bitch!”
Season 3, Episode 6: “Sunset”
“So, roll me further bitch!”
Season 3, Episode 8: “I See You”
“We should have ditched that RV months ago, its all like, shiny up in here.”
Season 3, Episode 8: “I See You”
“What good is being an outlaw when you have responsibilities?”
Season 3, Episode 9: “Kafkaesque”
“Gatorade me bitch!”
Season 3, Episode 10: “Fly”
“Is that your fly-saber?”
Season 3, Episode 10: “Fly”
“Look, I like making cherry product, but let’s keep it real, alright? We make poison for people who don’t care. We probably have the most unpicky customers in the world.”
Season 3, Episode 10: “Fly”
“Not like any vagina I ever saw. This chick have medical issues?”
Season 3, Episode 11: “Abiquiu”
“Hearts and minds, right? Get them young and they’ll be yours forever.”
Season 3, Episode 12: “Half Measures”
“We had a good run, Mr. White. But it’s over.”
Season 3, Episode 13: “Full Measure”