How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.